this, what i am feeling,

is what so many others have felt

and are feeling.

i am not unique.

discontented with "the system"

while enjoying its best benefits

i want to be a farmer and a

vagabond up and down the west coast

of this "repressive" country.

i am lazy and uninspired

and looking for some adventure.

these words i am writing and thinking

have been written and thought

forever. why does that feel like

a curse, a trap, a cringe?

i am not unique. no person is unique.

acknowledging it, a blow to

my ego which i thought was gone.

it's more that i feel stupid. we make

ourselves feel stupid.

white people who become enlightened

from a week-long visit to an

african orphanage.

the problem isn't the people, it's the system.

who is right in their actions and who is not?

who can wear dreadlocks and not be called a racist

ignorant fool?

how many people can conform to the counterculture

before it is no longer counter?

i am a white person, stuck inside this white box

i keep trying to come out but

there are scary voices that keep me inside, tortured with guilt.